Sometimes, people come to decisions on their own. They recognize that their needs have changed and that they have to change other things in order to meet those needs. At other times, however, people may be resistant to acknowledging changes. This is often the case when it’s something we don’t want to recognize. Getting older and being less capable than we once were is certainly something many people would like to pretend doesn’t exist. However, the reality is that we will all age, and with that comes recognizing that we won’t always be able to do what we can do now.
If you have a loved one who isn’t as capable as they once were, you’re likely very worried about them. What if they fell? What if they forget to take their medication? What if they leave the stove on? All of these concerns are valid. The first step to addressing them is to sit down with your loved one and open the discussion about aging, help, and in-home care. Reliant Home Care Services can help you begin this conversation. Here are some tips for talking to a parent or other loved one about in-home care.
Judge How Open Your Loved One is to the Conversation
Has your loved one mentioned assisted living facilities or talked vaguely about what their plans are for the future? If they have, it may indicate that they’re open to talking about in-home care or other options. Maybe they have friends who have in-home care. If so, they may already have an idea of what it involves and be very open to talking about it.
On the other hand, your loved one may have made disparaging remarks about these services or about seeking help in general. They may insist on doing things themselves, even when family is there to help. If that’s the case, you may be in for a more difficult conversation. Either way, you want to be prepared to present your case and help your loved one understand that you’re concerned about them and their well-being.
It’s Not a Battle
That said, don’t treat this conversation as a battle. It’s not. You’re on the same side. It may simply take a little convincing for your loved one to understand that. Don’t get combative, and if you find either yourself or your loved one getting angry, take a break. This conversation or series of conversations needs to be handled calmly. Remember, you can’t force your loved one into accepting help, and trying will not end well for anyone.
Do Your Research
Whether or not your loved one is going to be receptive to discussing in-home care, it’s a good idea to do your research before you discuss it. This way, you’ll know exactly what your options are and will be better able to match up your loved one’s needs with those services. You may want to look into what in-home care in general consists of to start, then narrow it down by looking at care providers in Santa Rosa and surrounding areas. These providers should list all of the services they provide and be more than willing to answer any questions you may have. Reliant, for example, lists our services on our website, and we can provide you with more information if you need it. We want you to find the right provider for your loved one, even if that turns out not to be us.
If you expect the conversation with your loved one to be difficult, having answers ready ahead of time can help persuade them. Look at what you know your loved one will need help with, but also keep in mind that they may have a list of other needs that you don’t know about.
Set Aside Sufficient Time to Discuss Care
This could be a long conversation, so you want to make certain you have the time needed to have it. You should set aside at least an hour, if not more, to talking about in-home care and why you believe it would be beneficial to your loved one. Be sure to have this conversation in an area where you’re not going to be interrupted often. You may want to do it at your loved one’s home or your home so you do have other spaces you can retreat to if the discussion gets heated.
Involve Other Decision Makers and Invested Individuals
You should have all involved decision makers and others who are invested in your loved one’s care present at this discussion. If your loved one is married or has a long-term partner, you will definitely need to speak with them and their partner. They both may have care needs that an in-home provider could meet.
You may also want to involve your siblings, especially those who live close enough to provide some care themselves. It’s possible one of them may want to take on caregiver duties. Some may be able to become regular care providers, while others may be able to serve as respite providers or provide occasional care. This can help take the burden off you and give you some idea as to how often you will need an in-home provider. For siblings who don’t leave close enough to drop in for the discussion, you may want to call them before you talk to your loved one to get their input. You should also communicate the outcome of the discussion to them.
Finally, be sure to include anyone else who is especially close to your loved one and may be able to provide support or input. This could include other family members your loved one is particularly close to or a close friend or neighbor. You may want to limit the number of people at this initial discussion, though. You don’t want your loved one to feel ganged up upon. Use your best judgment to determine how many people would be too many and who should be included.
Don’t Expect to Make All the Decisions Right Away
While your loved one may agree that they need in-home care, that may be about as far as you’re able to go in one setting. You may need to reach out to Reliant to learn more about how we can help your loved one, or your loved one may need more time to consider their options. Some loved ones may decide in-home care isn’t right for them now, so the discussion may become an ongoing one.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help – Reliant’s Here for You
Remind your loved one that it’s okay for them to ask for help. There’s no shame in it—it’s why in-home care providers exist! It’s also okay to ask for help during the process of determining what’s right for your loved one. Reach out to Reliant with any questions you may have, no matter how big or small. We’re more than welcome to help.
If you and your loved one have decided that it’s time to look at in-home care, one of our experienced care coordinators can sit down with everyone involved and walk you all through what we can do. We’ll work closely with you, your loved one, and their care team to create a personalized treatment plan that addresses all of your loved one’s needs. We will reevaluate this plan regularly and adjust it as needs change.
Want to learn more? Reach out to Reliant today.